Image provided by: Joanne Skelton; Cottage Grove, OR
About Rural enterprise. (Halsey, Or.) 1924-1927 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 11, 1925)
A U N E O’ CHEER o/hnong the ATABLES By Jo h n K endrick Bang*. OOOOOOOOOCXXXDOOOCIOCIOOOOJ T H E KIN DLY P H IL O S O P H E R NELSON MILES I C A N 'T e a y so m a g o o d a b o u t a f e lle r I'm g o ln ' to k e e p m y m o u th e h u t g o o d a n d t ig h t. A nd If I k n o w fo r c e r ta in th a t h e'e y e lle r I'm g o ln ' to tr y w ith a ll m y m a in a n d m ig h t T o d ig d o w n d e e p In to th e In n er H im T o e e e If th e r e a in 't s o m e th in ' to u n fo ld T o s h o w t h a t a l l h is y e lle r n e s s «o g r im Is b u t th® s ig n o f s t r e a k s o f h id d e n g o ld . I F ( © b y M c C lu r e N « w « p a p « r S y n d ic a t e ) >3OOOOOCKXXXXXXXXXX>3OOCOC<<: ® X T E L S O X A. M ILES, one of our g re atest soldiers, w as born In M assach u setts A ugust 8, 18»), and 11'ed through som e of the m ost won derful events th e country hus ever seen. " hen he W'as in his 'teens, he went to B oston and found em ploym ent In a crockery sto re — a tam e enough oc cupation. But he had studied m ilitary science and. w hen the Civil w ar broke out, he ra ised a com pany of volun tee rs and en listed w ith them a s th e ir fr iffie æ JUNGLE V j t h C h e e r u p $ a n d ¿he Q u ixies com m ander. T hat ended nis m ercan tile c a re e r and began au ex trem ely Illustrious m ilitary one. H e fought through th e w ar, though w ounded a couple of tim es, and stead ily rose In rank, being decorated fo r services at C hancellorsvllle and a t F a ir O aks. By the end of th e w ar. he w as in com m and o f an arm y corps. B ut th e re w as m ore w ork left fo r a m an of his abilities. H e w as sen t out to subdue the In d ian s—Indeed, he got th e nick nam e of "In d ian F ig h te r M iles." H e brought th e C heyenne and the C om anche In d ian s to term s, chased th e fam ous S ittin g Bull over the border Into C anada, and conquered the te rrib le Apaches. H e w as sent abroad as th e c o u n try ’s re p re se n ta tiv e to a tte n d Queen V icto ria's diam ond jubilee, and, a y e a r late r, w as nom inally In c h arg e of th e m ilitary o p e ra tions In th e Spanish-A m erican w ar. A ctually, though, he d irected th e a l most unopposed P o rto Kico expedi tion, doing som e very w onderful sani tatio n work In th e islands a fte rw a rd s. (© G e o r g e M a tth ew A d a m s.) ------o----- P au lin e Starke mm » » ** ac* r *» jwwjwjsvw . 4 ^ Grace Dli$$ Steward MRS, T R A P D O O R SPID ER £ 'H E E R U P 8 gave a gasp o f su rp rise w hen he discovered th a t th e gro u n d w as rising u n d e r him. H e w as sta n d in g rig h t In his own fro n t yard, not a ste p from his little palm -leaf h o u s e ; a n d w here could any one be s a f e r th a n In his own fro n t y a rd ? Yet th e re w as no m ista k e about It, th e gro u n d u n d e r C heerups w as moving. W ith a little sp rin g he Jum ped to one sid e a n d th en w hat do you sup p o se h ap p en ed ? A sm all piece of e a rth lik e a tin y lid popped rig h t up Just w h e re he had been sta n d in g und out poked a little head. “Good m orning, Mr. C h eeru p s,” sjiid a sm all voice from u n d e r th e lid. "I'm Mrs. Spider, Mrs. T rap d o o r Spider, and y o u r n e a re st neighbor, I guess, so I 7 ‘‘I A m T his petite “m ovie” s ta r w as born in Joplin. Mo. She w as e ducated in K an sa s City, and lived th e re until several years ago w hen h e r fam ily moved to Los Angeles. Miss S ta rk e has been seen In m any p ictu res th a t have m et general approval. T his is one of her la te st pictures. fo r anything. I Just c an 't w ait to h e ar m ore a bout th a t w onderful house.” “ W ell, It Isn't very polite to In te r ru p t, I m ust say, Mr. C heerups." said Mrs. S pider w ith a gentle little hum. “B ut If you be good. I’ll go on, and m aybe I will tell you how I fu rn ish my house, too.” © by L ittle B ro w n A Co. W hat’s in a Nam e?’’ M IL D R E D M A R SH A L L Fscts about your name, its history; meaning, whence It waa derived; sig nificance. your lucky day, lucky jewel SELM A T F F A IR nam e» should be given to f a ir wom en, Selm a is a fa v o rite In fem inine n o m en clatu re. It 1« an old C eltic nam e, m eaning “ fa ir,” aud nurned th e lieautlful d au g h ter« of Ire lan d and S cotland for g e n era tio n a fte r g e n e ra tio n . F in ally It t-pread over the b o rd e r Into E ngland and w as s tr a ig h t way adopted a» a natio n al favorite. T h e B ible re co rd s a Selinai, which m ay he tak e n a« Identical w ith Selm a, and th e n am e 1« th u s given a religious significance. T h e D utch also have a Selm al w hich Is g en erally reg ard ed as th e e q u iv a le n t of Selm a. O therw ise, th e re is little h isto ry connected w ith th e nam e, which p e rsisted because It« sound, a t well a t Its significance, w as fair. In th is co u n try , th e S outh adopted Selm a, p ro bably because of It» asso c ia tio n w ith fem inine b eau ty and e q u ally b ecau se Its vow els a re well su ite d to th e soft, slu rrin g p ro n u n c ia tion of Dixie. M any lovely S outhern ers. to a s ts of V irginia and C aro lin a countlea, h ave h o m e th e nam e and m ore th a n one s ta te h a s bestow ed the n am e on one of its to w n s or sm aller c ities. It is fittin g th a t th e pearl, symbol o f beau ty a n d charm , ahould he sel- m a 's ta llsm a n lc gem It proml.-es her g re a t fa scin a tio n and th e pow er of a t tra c tin g ad m irers. M onday Is her lucky day and 5 h e r lucky num ber. t £ ky Wheeler gyBdleete.) HE WHYsf SUPERSTITIONS S v H. IR V IN G K IN G , I TH E M OON A N D IN SA N IT Y T_T OW un iv ersal w as fo rm erly the A A belief th e re waa a d irec t connec tion betw een th e moon und Insanity Is show n by th e fa c t th a t o u r words, lunacy and lunatic, a re deriv ed d ire c t ly from L una, th e L atin nam e of the Homan moon goddess corresp o n d in g w ith th e G reek Selene. L una w as the moon and rh e w as only one of the v a rious personifications of th e moon w hich e x iste d In all m ythologies and of w hich Isis of th e E g y p tia n s a p p ea rs to have been th e original. It used to he a comm on belief, am ong snllors especially, th a t If a person slept In th e m oonlight he w as liable to go mad. T h a t su p e rstitio n Is still In ex isten ce a s Is also th e m ore common one th a t lu n atics a re m ore violent w hen the moon Is a t the full. E ven T h ack eray . In his story of "C ath erin e," a p p e a rs to c red it th is m istak en b e lie f; and It Is not so very long ago th a t resp o n si ble p hysicians begun to doubt the th e ory. It Is very com m on su p e rstitio n to day th a t to sleep In the m oonlight Is dangerous— th a t “ som ething will hap pen" to one who does so. a belief su r viving from th e Insanity sup erstitio n . T ib s Idea of th e connection betw een I th e moon and in san ity is derived from th e belief of th e an cien ts th a t In sp ira tion and m adness w ere closely con- nected. T h e p ro p h e te ss of th e Del ph ian sh rin e w orked h e rse lf into a frenzy b efo re »lie u tte re d her oracles and th e p rie s ts of th e m oon goddess b athed th em selv es In h e r refulgent beam s to o b tain In sp ira tio n and de- claim ed from h e r a lta r s a f te r th e m an n e r o f m adm en. M odern m edical science declares th a t th e re Is not th e slig h te st connec tion betw een th e moon and Insanity and m odern re sea rc h show s th a t Hie w hole Idea is a su p e rstitio n surviving from th e days when th e p rie s ts of Isis by th e bunks o f the N ile w aved th eir wild a rm s to w a rd th e ir shining god dess a n d w ith "eyes In fine frenzy rollin g ” declaim ed h e r o ra cles to ud aw e-struck people. (© T h e w a strel son had com e to the end of Ills resources, and aent a p ite ous appeal to his fa th e r for funds, saying th a t If they w ere not forthcom ing he would sta rv e to d e ath . He re ceived th is cru sh in g reply In th e form of a te le g ra m : “As you have m ade y our bed. so m ust you lie on It." T he quick-w itted scape g ra ce w as equal to the occasion, and w ired h a ck ; "H av e n 't a bed. T h e sheriff took It y e sterd a y .” A su b s ta n tia l check waa th e rew ard fo r Ids wit. --------- O Tim e’s Heavy Hand Had Made Changes T w o b ro th ers, who th irty -n in e years ago In th e ir hom e In G erm any looked so m uch alike th a t th e ir frien d s som e tim es confused them , m et recently In M assillon and failed to recognize each o th e r until they w ere Introduced, says th e C anton (O hio) R epository. T hey w ere H enry L ascldnske, of C anton, and his b ro th e r C arl, who had Ju st come to th is c o untry w ith hts fam ily. W hen th e fo rm er cam e to A m erica th irty -n in e y ears ago he w as tw enty-tw o y ears old and left his nine- teen-year-old b rother. C arl, a t home In G erm any. T h e a rriv a l o f th e la tte r a n d hts fam ily In th is country was un announced. W hen the tw o m et at the hom e of Miss M ary K utrih, of M assil lon. n e ith e r knew th a t he waa face to face w ith his b ro th er T hey c h a tte d for som e tim e before Miss K u trib Introduced them to each o th e r a s b ro th e rs T hen they lost no tim e In calling up boyhood memories. Deride» Police. N ashville, T en n .—N ashville h a s a m idnight prow ler who m akes th r e a ts to kill, and then keeps his prom ises. T he n« w sp ap ers and police a r e fran- tic slly try in g to solve th e m ystery. A th re a t th a t he would e n te r a D el la aven u e house w as c arrie d out when th e m a ra u d er e n te red a house and slashed th e th ro a t of Mrs. M orton Sm ithson. T hen he w rote a le tte r deriding the "hum police" o f N ashville and a sk ing. “W ho Is th e Joke on now ?” A week la te r th e e d ito r of a N ashville n ew spaper received a le tte r sa y in g : “I prom ise to com e buck to D elta avenue M unday night, and I also prom ise th a t no one will live to tell th e ta le a f te r I leave th e house. I will kill first and not leave a ch an c e of gettin g c au g h t." T h e le tte r, scraw led on yellow p a per w ith a pencil, w as sig n e d : “Y ours truly. T h e M idnight M arauder." W hile a week before th e n ew sp a pers and police took th e first th r e a t as a Joke, serio u s alarm w as occa sioned by th e second. A special d etec tive detail w as se n t o u t to c a p tu re the man. $ \ Ik . New Y ork.—A S outh A m erican lln er reached here w ith fo u r sick hut happy men. T hey w ere In th e sh ip 's hospital and w hen rem oved to E llis Island to be se n t hack on th e next ship leaving for B uenos Aires, th e ir faces w reathed In sm iles nt th e ir luck T h eir lives had been saved by a dog, a little brow n Pekingese, ow ned by Mrs. R odolfo I,e B rett o f Chicago. T h e m en had slipped aboard the liner In B uenos A ires. W ith th ree days' food supply they slid down the m ain v en tilato r. On th e th ird day, w ith th e ir food gone, th ey realized th e ir m istake. How ever, they hung on five days more. Then, w eakened, th ey a tte m p te d to come out of th e ir hiding place and su rren d er, but nil four fell e x h au ste d nt th e sm all Inndlng Inside th e v e n ti lato r about ten feet from th e rim . At this point Is a sm all opening. Ching Lee, th e little Pekingese, found g re at delight In plnylng about the v en tilato r, and on th e eighth night o u t he becam e excited and harked for several m inutes. Mrs. I.e B rett saw th e arm of a mun stlckiug through th e sm all hole Mrs. Le B re tt sent fo r an officer, who found th e men. Tot H as Perilous R ide on Auto Running Board M arq u ette, Mich.—A fter a ra th e r wild rid e on th e running hoard of his d a d ’s c ar, w ith th e fa th e r u n a w are th a t his child w as In such a perilous position, a three-year-old son w as re s cued when th e d riv er of u not tier car Inform ed the fa th e r of th e b abe's dan ger. T h e Identity of th e f a th e r w as not learned, for In the excitem ent he picked up th e child, placed him In Ids c a r and drove aw ay quickly. Jo h n D eschntnheau noticed th e c h ild ’s d a n g er and fra n tic a lly signaled th e d riv e r to stop. T h e la tte r thought som e one w as try in g to pass him, so he “step p ed on th e gas." 1 D escham hesu, seeing th s t his p u r su it Increased th e baby's danger, sw ung off o nto n side s tre e t and broke the speed lim it In circling th e block to head off th e driver. H e succeeded In blocking th e p a th o f th e c a r a n d forc ing It to halt. “You have a baby on th e running board o f y our c a r,” DescliHinbeau shouted. T h e f a th e r n e arly collapsed when he saw w hat had tak e n place. Ring Long Lott by M c C Ie r e N e w s p a p e r S y n d ic a te . I -------------- O —---------- W it S aved Situation lj M lu r e N e w a ^ a p e r B y a d ie a ta .* Lame, Tired, Achy? A re you tired, lam e, a c h y - w orried w ith b ack ach e? D o you suffer sharp paiua. headache®, diiziiieiui and disturb- . .! ics* I < I di«s your k id n eys n eed a tte n tio n . W hen th e kidneys fail to properly tilter th e blood, body im p urities accu m ulate and cause poisonin g o f th e w hole system . Such a con d ition m ay lead to serious »u kness. lx n t n If you sus pect your kidneys, w hy n ot give D o a n 't r i l l t a trial? D o a n ’« have been used succeesfullv over th ir ty five years—are recom m ended th e w orld over. A ffc y o u r n e ig h b o r * W arns of Coming Crime» and Dog Saves Lives of Four Stealing Ride on Ship Glad to Know You,” Replied C heerups. th o u g h t I wonld be frien d ly and m nke th e first call." W ith ttrnt out clim bed M rs. S pider onto th e ground and stood e y in g C heerups, a s If a little doubtful o f h e r welcom e. “I am glad to know you,” replied C heerups, a s cordially a s he could for his su rp rise, “ but I nev er d ream ed —•” “ No, of course you d id n ’t.” cried Mrs. S p id e r w ith a m erry tw inkle In at least six of h e r eight round eyes. “ Nobody w ould be expected to d ream o f a neigh b o r's house rig h t tinder his nose, o r his to e s r a th e r. B ut th a t's the best p a rt of It, you see, s ir ! My house is tucked a w ay so snugly u n d e r y our y a rd th a t you w ould h ard ly notice th a t I'm there. D o you th in k you'll m ind?” “N ot a t all, not a t a ll.” chuckled C heerups, beginning to be am used. ‘‘B u t I w ould like to know som ething a b o u t th is c u rio u s house of yours. How do you build It?” “ I don’t ; I Ju st dig It.” hum m ed Mrs. By Spider. ‘T dig w ith my fa n g s way down deep Into th e e a r th —oh, about tw o fe et—th en I c arry aw ay all the d irt I've dug out a n d hide It, so no one will know I have been digging. Now I call th a t clever, don 't you?" "I should say so.” gasped C heerups, grow ing m ore and w ore astonished every m inute. “And now you a re w ondering why my house doesn't get w et in a heavy show er," continued Mrs. Spider. “ But you see. I alw ay s choose a location w here th e w a te r will run off—the side of a hank, for Instance— and I m nke my tunnel tu rn a little to one side at th e bottom ." ‘‘T hen It’s Ju st th e shape of a sto c k ing. Isn't It?” cried C heerups, clapping Ids hands. “ Well, w h a te v e r a stocking may he I don't know ," snifTed Mrs. Spider, “hul I flud th a t a com fortuble way to build, anyw ay." “ W hy, d o n 't you know a bout stock ings, Mrs. S p id er?" said C heerups. "T hey a re such useful t h in g s ! T hey a re w hat boys and g irls hang up on C h ristm a s Eve and find full of sw eet m eats und n u ts and lovely p re sen ts In th e m orning.” “ Bless me. but .von do say funny things, Mr. C h e e ru p s !" sp u tte re d Mrs. Spider, grow ing a little cross. “T h ese above-earth folks, w ith th e ir q u eer w ays and big w ords, a re beyond my u n d erstan d in g . T h e sensible ones all live below ground. I guess.” “Oh, p lease do excuse me. Mrs. S pider,” pleaded C heerups. "I w as only tea sin g a little, and honestly, I w o uldn't m iss th e re st of y o u r story N O C T U R N A L F IE N D PREYS ON W O M E N A C a liforn ia C ase CUT-PRICE C O M P E TITIO N " Ife— T h e p rice o f th e ala rm clock w as $1.50, hut I got a discount, so It only cost mA 98 cents. H u sb a n d —Y'es. hut you know very " e ll you could h ave got the sam e th in g at B row n's fo r 75 cents. " 'I f e — T h a t m ay be, hut then B row n's w ouldn’t h ave ta k e n a n y th in g off.—Good H a rd w a re. Diogene» and His Lantern "H ow do you use a la n te rn In your se a rc h fo r an honest m an ?" ask ed the citizen. ”1 lend It to a m an," an sw e red Di o g e n e s; "an d If he re tu r n s It I know lie's one In ten tho u san d . You see, th e la n te rn te s t Is th e best avatlahle. T h e um brella has not yet been la vented." How Come “ Do yon know ." observed nn oil- stock sa lesm a n a f te r u nloading several hu n d red d o lla rs' w orth of w orthies« s to rk , “ I fee! so rt o f rig h te o u s today." "Y ou? Illg h te n u s? " sn o rte d hl« p a rtn e r. “ How'» th a t? ” “T h e guy 1 sold th a t stock to w as going to buy a used c a r w ith the m oney."— A m erican Legion W eekly. NOT SO W ONDERFUL John F erns, re tir e d J u s tic e o f th e p e a c e. 3636 1st A v e , S a c r a m e n to . C a l i f , sa y s "My b a c k p a in e d c o n t l n i a l l y a n d w h e n 1 s to o p e d It w a s d iffic u lt to s t r a i g h t e n , fo r t h e s e p a in s d u g In d e e p e r I h a d to g e t up nigh t® to p a s s' th e k id n e y s e c r e - ' tlo n s , w h ic h w ere« s c a n ty . A fte r u s in g D o a n s P i lls . I w s . rid of th« trouble.** D O A N ’S P IL L S 60c STIMULANT DIURETIC TO THE KIDNEYS F o .te i M ilb u r n C o , M ig Cb.m., Buffalo. N. Y. Men w ho co u rt tro u b le soon th em selv ce w edded to If. find “ THE FOUNDATION OF HIS HEALTH” A m ong th e thousands w ho have publicly expressed indebtedness to Tanlac for norm al weight, health and strength, l® a . H. W hite, w ho recently said: “ T he foundation for m y present excel lent health was laid by Tanlac. For m onths 1 had been run-down. 1 had lost all enjoy m ent for food anti suffered great discom fort- from Indignation. M y liver was slug gish and th at tired fooling was on m e all the tim e. “ T hree bottles o f T anlac relieved my troubles and s t a r t t i m e off w ith a system so thoroughly toned up and renew ed th at I soon found iny self fouling like a uew man. * * T anlac Is for sale by all good druggists. A ccept no substitute. T anlac V egetable Pills for constipation; matte and recoim ueuded by th e uiauufac- turors o f Tanlac. T ANLAC POLL Y O U H H E A L T H If we a re w rung an ally Is alw ays welcom e. IS IT YOUR STOM ACH? “ D on’t you think It’« w onderful to ««« a m un w ith a wooden leg d an ce ? ” “ Not w hen you gee ho m any iiivu w ith wooden heads doing it.“ Ditappointing T h e p u m p k in la m o il fn lr to a®e. F o r y e llo w lu s t e r y o u c a n t b e a t It; P e r h a p s tlm t'a w h y It s e e m s to be A g o l d b rick " w h e n y o u tr y to e a t IL Saw the Ring Before She— It MPPina to in« I hut I’ve seen till« rinir before. A re you su re th u t I ’m th e only girl you e v er loved? H e —Yen! w e w ere engiiged once be fo re ; don 't you rem em ber? Helping Her Along Sacramento, Calif. — “My stomach went back on me, everything I ate caused pain and d is tress, I grew nerv ous, weak and pale and it seemed that I had pains and arhes all thru my body. I was too m i s e r a b l e to h« . a r o u n d w hen I v started to take Dr. ’ P ierce’s G o l d e n Medical Discovery , and it relieved me of all nervousness and stomach trouble and completely re stored me to g<x»d health I could eat without being distressed, in fait, I never felt better." Mrs Grace Sheldon. J2J7- 9th Ave. All dealers; or send 10c foi trial pkg of tablets to D r Pierce’s In valids' Hotel in Buffalo. N Y “ I am going to leave you fo rev er,” deci n red th e Irate wife. "W h at do you su.v to th a t? " “Call In y o u r d re ssm a k e r and I’ll o r d e r a golng-aw ay gow n." Piles Disappear A Slam Peterson’s Ointm ent L an d lo rd (o f th e Sonkem h o tel) — W hen a poor fellow ask for a n g lit's lodging I Invurlahly ta k e him In. M cC austlc— T hen you tre a t him Ilk* a re g u la r g u e st.— B oston T r a n s c ilp t Running to Form “Com e on. now ! You have to go w ith m e." sa id th e G rim R eaper, " J u s t a m inute," said th e flapper. “I'll h ave to get my c o m p a rt first." W OULD. NO DOUBT L ynn. M ass.—T h irty y e a rs ago Mrs. M ichael A hern lost her w edding ring w hile w orking In h e r g arden in E ast B rid g ew ater. Mrs. T hom as M urray, w ho now occupies th e sam e house, found th e rin g In the garden, and recog nlzlng th e In itia ls on it, re tu rn e d It to Mrs. A hearn. “ P le a s e let m e tell you." anys P eter- Don, " th a t f o r In sta n t re lie f from th e m isery o f blind, bleeding o r Itching piles, th e re Is n o th in g so good a s P e te rs o n ’s O intm ent, a s th o u sa n d s h a v e testifie d .” B est fo r old so re s and Itch in g skin. All d ru g g ists, fit) cents. Indispensable S a a a f e , ffo o th in g a n d h e a lin g d re ac in g f o r c u ts , acalda, b u rn » , r o u g h e n e d , d r y a n d c h a p p e d a k in a n d f o r a ll c o m m o n « k in tro u b le « , * * V a « e lin « ’ * I 'e tr o la u m J elly h « « b e e n in d ta p e n s a b le I n m e d i c a l m e n a n d m o th e r « f o r o v e r h a lf a c e n t u r y . K e e p a Jar o r a tu b e h a n d y , A c a n n a o u a n mpo . company I t .f«s swlsffs 17 Htate Street Vaseline O= M a n Catches Baby in Three-Story Plunge New Y ork.—An unidentified young m an In th e Bronx saved th e life of tw o -y e a ro ld M oe Klem Hnd th en d isa p p ea red As he ap proached an a p a r t m ent building he suddenly ran w ith o u tstre tc h e d arm s. Women and c hildren scream ed ns th e ir eyes tu rn e d to th e o b jec t o f his gaze. P erch ed on a window ledge on th e th ird floor w as little M oe looking down at frie n d s on the s tre e t and giggling Inside th e a p a rtm e n t th e hoy's m other, busy In th e kitchen, w as u n a w are o f h e r ch ild 's danger. T h e calm s tra n g e r sta tio n e d h im self w ith arm s o u tstre te h e d as little Moe lurched fo rw a rd w ith s scream and h u rtle d th ro u g h th e a ir H e Cell Into the m an 's arm s, th ro w in g him off feet, b u t he held tig h t to the haby. w hich waa only slightly Injured. A crow d g a th e red but w hile women w ere c rying and seeking to kiss th e young m an be w alked aw ay. /- N u ly w e d —Why not h ave sp lit peas for d in n er? Wlfie— So w e m ight. B u t—e r — w o uldn't It ta k e a long tim e to split th e p eas? Green’s August Flower The Motorist’» Lament O f a ll s a d w - rda O f t o n g u e o r pen T h e s a d d e s t a r e th e s e : I t's fis t a g a in Didn’t Take Mrs. B row n Did y o u r son get a c er tific ate from th e g ra m m a r school? Mrs. T ow n No. All he got w as his v a ccin atio n se a r. M entally he w as so h e alth y th a t Ids e d u ca tio n w ouldn’t take. Of the Same Mind W atson - T h e r e goes a m an ’ envy, i ml, w hat Is m ore, be envies me. K ltson— W hy? W atso n — W e w ere both a fte r tb o sam e g ir l—a n d I m a rrie d her fu t C o n s tip a tio n , In d ig e s t io n a n d T o r p id L iv e r iagaeren u D •!.,»». (h « f . . l m g nt 6C9oc beetle«. Ah dru g gut a STUBBORN SORES wJ a n d in fla m m a tio n s q u ic k ly y ie ld to Resinol Mctoy’s OLD RELIABLE Eye Water r e lte y e a r u n an d w in d -b u r n e d ey®g. H oran t h u rt. Oen'iln«* In Med F u ld ia g N e t . 25c a t a ll d r u g g is t« o r b y m alt. D ICK KT D R U G CO.. fir la 'o l, V fc.-T «n«,